The cold I caught from unnamed sources has hit my ears. As a result, I've had a somewhat difficult time hearing today. One of my ears seems to be perpetually clogged so I had to ask my students to repeat themselves a few times. Being under the weather and trying to teach is a pretty abysmal experience. The most difficult part is keeping this knowledge from your students. If they sense weakness, they will use it to their advantage.
I kind of feel like I'm failing my 9th grade class. I don't see them as getting very much out of the readings and my teaching efforts seem to be falling short. To be honest, I picked a reading that was way above them and because of book shortages I'm having half the class read one book and the other half of the class read another. Because of this, I don't think either half of the class is really benefiting from it very much. I just wish we were done reading the book so we could move on.
I've started eating lunch earlier, with the elementary school teachers and kids. I have my plan period 3rd hour so it works out well. I've done this for a few reasons. One, I'm hungry. Two, the elementary school teachers make for better company than the high school teachers.
Kids can be pretty damn cruel. I am reminded of this on a regular basis. It's not just the name calling, but every time I have the kids write a creative piece they insist on casting classmates they don't like in unpopular roles. I tell them afterwards that I'm pretty disappointed in them and that I don't think what they did was appropriate, but they're 12-14 years old and could care less.
I'm starting to make some real progress with the one problem student who I had to send to the office the second week of school. I've tried to make my class a safe environment for her and she said she's liked the last few activities we've done. She's not a stellar pupil, but she's actually acted kind of sweet in my class these past few days. She's even "gasp" helped me pass out papers and ask if we could do more activities.
Oddly enough, I've realized that I've been a better middle school teacher than a high school teacher. If I had to rank my teaching ability based on the class I taught it would go something like this:
8th Grade Reading and Writing
8th Grade English
11-12th grade Creative Writing
11-12th grade journalism
9th grade English.
I never thought I'd want to teach middle school, but I've got a better rapport with them than I do the 9th graders. Of course, the 9th graders are a weak class on the whole. Their MAP scores show this and they have been a terror for past teachers. Their previous teachers have horror stories. I'm going to keep adjusting my teaching strategies and maybe I'll figure them out. Either that, or they are going to fail fantastically at learning and I'm going to fail miserably at teaching.
One of my favorite students is an 8th grader who I have twice a day. She's a low end student, but a real nice girl and a hard worker. She tries her hardest, but she also struggles. In addition to school, she also goes to Sylvan learning center for added help. I know that Sylvan isn't cheap and I don't think her parents can afford it. I am really impressed by the value they put on education though. I want this girl to succeed so badly because I know she wants to succeed herself. I talked with her mom today after school. It turns out that she is enjoying my class. That's kind of a relief. A lot of times my students give me these thousand yard stares like I'm lecturing on rocket science. Scratch that, rocket science would be something cool. Let's pretend that I am lecturing on watching the soil erode in real time.
I'm no great teacher, not yet at least. I have been keeping my head above water and my students are learning, but I'm still not doing as much as I could be doing. My classroom management skills need improving and so does my ability to provide individualized educational opportunities. It never feels as though I have enough time to do everything, but I love this work. I love the job and the kids and getting up and doing something as great as teaching. That's enough for tonight. I have to get to bed so I can do it all over in the morning.